I seldom talk about being a single mother. I try to keep my personal life pretty much removed from open discussion in a blog. But yes, I am a single Mom.
     The term itself has a very significant meaning for me. Whether or not I am in a relationship with someone, married to someone, or chained to a person, I am still a single Mom. I always will be. I believe all mothers--married, single, straight, gay, Christian, Pagan, etc.,--are single Moms.
     Now you might be saying to yourself, "My God, she's a loon! "Whatever could Tracy be talking about? Of course married women aren't single Moms!"
     Ah, but they are. Or rather, the potential is certainly there. One of the lessons I taught my son early on (as gently as possible), and one that he learns over and over again, is that Moms don't leave. At least, this mother doesn't leave. When my ex-partner left, my son's entire world crashed down around him. For a while he spoke in falsetto. Kids do weird things when faced with a loss that big, and the only thing you can do to help them is to reinforce that *you* will not leave. And that's what I had to do. I had to teach him that people were going to come and go in and out of his life, for the rest of his life, but that I would always be here, God willing, and that he could count on that.
     And let me tell ya, it's a hard lesson to teach. It's still a harder thing to watch it being reinforced over and over again. One good thing that does come out of it, though, is that through all the rubble and aftermath, when the dust settles and all is clear, we're still standing...together, side by side.
     And he learns again the lesson that I will not leave him, that I will be here always, as the fates allow--and that no matter what, no matter who leaves, who comes and goes, who makes promises to always be there and then breaks them into ten thousand pieces, I. WILL. NOT.
     Yeah, I guess this post could be summed up in a You-and-me-against-the-World idealism, so let me smash that ideal by saying it ROYALLY SUCKS. With all the sweet little Mother's Day commercials being shown on TV, and all that fucking gooey Hallmark crap the media is shoving down our throats, I'd like just one fucking card company to get brave enough to air this commercial:
     The scene: a mother and her children. Sitting under a tree, in a large open field, having a picnic, perhaps. And there is no father, and there is no partner. There is just Mom (as usual). And Mom looks into the camera with a peaceful, matronly expression and says, "You fucking piece of shit Disney-Dad...I'm still here, you fucking coward. I'm doing it by myself, fuckwad. How 'bout this Mother's Day you pay your fucking back child-support? How 'bout that, you loser fuck!"
     And then they could cue in the announcer's voice, who would say lovingly, "This Mother's Day, when you care enough to send the very best, send it in cash, mother-fucker. The bitch is working her ass off!"